Where I Belong

Days to weeks to months
The hands keep ticking on
Still trying to grapple with
all that has been coming along.

In the mad rush of it all
I pause to look around,
familiar faces, familiar places,
familiar ways and familiar sounds.

But I know something is amiss
it has been so for quite sometime,
everyone is singing to their tune
but I just cant seem to find mine.

Another day passes in running around
another night passes in introspect,
disappointed in self and my mates
no clearer do my answers get.

The reflection in the mirror is hazy now
for I have been away too long,
take me back to my people and me
take me to where I truly belong.

Of New Things and Old People :)

Hello ppl :)

M back home...n though initially I wasnt so keen on coming home after my xams...all is good now :) On paper toh I have so much of work to do :P shuru karne ko bore hota hai...n plus its december my fav months of the year so m happier!! :D :D gotta start on my documentary homework soon 2 ;) :P the biggest prob being that the lappy gets home only when dad reaches home(i.e. in the evenin!! :( :P ) khair...lets make the most..

Things have been changing around the usual way...last one week has been good :) I have this whole new inspiration/idea to write something..i hope i can pen it down...called 'The December Girl' ..kinda like the movie sweet november...jus that i m not dying :P Things are happenin too fast and time so bloody flies away!!Amazin how things were so still and quiet few days back in surat :) now its gear change time ;) but therez somethin I realise more and more as I get busier..that therez no substitute for true old good frenz :) wateva u do n howeva busier u get u can always count on them...n I m so darn lucky to have my fair share!! :D No matter what I do(or rather not do :P ) and where I end up...where i go and how many people come in and out(random chicks included :P ) I know(rather hope) these few will be along.. :) So to endless possibilities and the uncertainty that accmapanies...and to my dear frenz and the certainty that comes along ...CHEERS!! :D :D

Timelessness

Hello folks,

End sems have ended. Last few days have been the most peaceful.I have been watching some amazing documentaries+lectures which have changed (yet again) the way I look at the world and myself in it.It is amazing what knowledge can do.There is this sense of constant unrest and turmoil (due to what I have learnt ova the last two days) as well a sense of quiet and timelessness, where I have just been floating from one day into another without any boundaries to them. In all of it I have realised that no where have I felt the need to do something(as in forced to like assignments and stuff) nor I have I felt the need to be anywhere else or be anyone else(which so often happens na) I love losing the count of days coz that means either you are super bored or depressed or that you are loving the times as they flow, and in my case it the seond one this tym(thank Lord :D ) I am not delirious (like I was in my ast blog :P ) neither am I sad...I just am.. :) which is so nice..

The hostel has been very quite too for last two days...either people are out doing tp or they have gone for their JMET test to B'bay or Ahmedabad or are at the LnT placement test in campus. My friends are getting placed finally and its such a relief to see them relieved. There is a place for everyone somewhere...matter of time before they find it :) As for me I have decided not to sit for any IT/software company...wait for some company which I wanna work in or better still not take a job at all!! :D And its definitely not a MBA now...nor do I plan to go abroad to study immediately...Just take some time off and let myself be.

Ideally I wanna go to a few places (Nepal,Kerala,Jaipur,Jodhpur, north east,etc. The list keeps growing :P ) and read a lot of books...The list of my 'to-read's has been growing for months now and I cant remem the last book I read :( Also therez this long list of subjects that I wanna find out more about. In between all this I have to find some job (any money paying activity basically :P ) of my interest...which is no mean feat(people who know how fussy and selective I am will agree with me ;) :P )

Saw Rocket Singh yest...was nice...definitely a one time watch..n I love Ranbir man!! And the gal opposite him(Shazahn Padamsee) was nicer ;) tall dusky great smile and curly hair...and a fun character!! A friend of mine got a new 22k 12 MP Nikon SLR yest! :O :D so had fun clicking few snaps with that in the evening :) This time(for the first time I guess) I am not too keen on going home..or rather staying at home...plus therez constant argument with my parents over the fact that why am I not taking my GMAT scores seriously and applying to univs or why am I not sitting for job interviews or why am I not this or that...etc etc...Socha toh kafi kuch hai dec+jan ke liye...lets c how much works out... Chalo I will get back to the lecture by David Icke that I was watching now...Amazingly he answers all those Qs which have been with me since my secong year engg...about nature of reality, nature of money and other things that we ought to know about...got this ever increasing list of lectures to watch now :)

So long ppl,
PC

Let them be hidden ;)

The human heart has hidden treasures
In secret kept, In silence sealed.
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures
Whose charms were broken if revealed.

Lines from the movie 'Definitely Maybe' (one of my super favs!)

When I first saw the movie a year back I dint like the movie so much..the lines 2 dint make much sense..but now I see them so much more clearly...The more I see it(the movy) the more I read them..the more I love it!
Beautiful...aah...Beautiful :)
To all the little(or big ;) ) secrets that we keep...the dreams,hopes,memories and things
To write anything more would be insulting the lines :P

So long people,
Peace (And you wondered what the great mystery behind it was!! just the vowels man :P )

Where have I been??

Hello ppl,

Been rather long..Hope all has been well with u guys.. The vacns were great..tho things here hav been quite unremarkable off late..

The diwali was great!! Infact I wanted to write a piece on it called 'The Lights of 2009' , but dint rite when the time was rite...n then the inspiration (well most of it) jus faded away..It is my fav festival of the year...I love the lights all around..the tons of sweets that flow in n out of the houses...the lovely traditional dresses that every1 wears and ofcorz the idea of 'victory of good over evil' :) Was quite evntful too!!wid my dads bday bein on the day I reachd home. I realised that knowin how to drive isnt always a good thing!! I was made the driver on so many occasions by my sister altho she can drive perfectly( getting married can be have great privileges!! :P ) Didi n alok(my wud be jijaji) had come home for diwali...both returned to their jobs n there was peace at last!! :P i prolly sound too selfish, but yea I like my house being empty n quiet more often that not! n guess wat after she gets married I get to keep her room :P (atlst when shez not arnd!) hehe....n ofcorz the balcony too! :D

GMAT: I have had so much of these four letter in last few months that it is a relief to get done with it finally!! 26th oct was the date...n well I got a 710( i would hav loved a 730!!)...which is a pretty decent score :) so thats a happy 26th!! :D :D The experience was quite a thing man...the xam centre was so uber cool...with camera surveillance, e-signature, palm scan and stuf!! I had neva given a palm scan before...made quite a fool of myslf givin it the 1st time :P hehe..and then being given ear plugs n cool lookin plastic coated pads to write on...well i felt like quite an executive :D ;) and aah the feeling of coming out after the exam n scoring a 700 up... Seriously felt like a a big weight had gone off me!! And then I had to take time off...so Marine Drive ki jay ho!!

And other than GMAT there is another highlight of my diwali.. a new friend that I made...amazing how u know som1 exist for so long but neva really think u will be frenz with him/her(its not the 1st time that has happend with me!! :P )... kind of person who would make you believe in the good there is in the world(how much eva lill it mite be )...who has nothin to do with my GMAT n who isnt super inquisitive bout my future plans and what i m gonna do next...n wats been up wid me...blah blah...so its always nice to be with som1 with whom u can not think bout gmat,cat,toefl,work ex etc etc :P and jus let the other person in u be :) ... got me sweets to celebrate my score when we met !! Mithai alwaysmakes me happy :D pata nahi un sweets ka kya hota had I not got a good score!! Neways main kha hi jata :P its nice to have a fresh view of of the world again..listen to opinions and perspectives...nothing superficial or fake bout them...still optimistic and upbeat...unlike mine which are a lill cynical and numbed down by my so called growing up and graduation years!! In that way it was definitely a memorable diwali :) plus it is always nice to listen sometimes as opposed to always keep talkin n be the entertainer :P hehe... You,dear friend, make a light of 2009.. :)

And now back to college..its dry and quiet as usual here..for last one week we hav been havin no classes...mass bunk!! i donno y...prolly its a CAT bunk or jus a tp wala bunk...or coz junta is so frustrated that there are no placements!! Have been wastin a lot of time and now as a result have this pile of work to do!! My dear friend VJ who was here jus sometime back says the placement pressure is gettin to him too!! :O thats a surprise...i mean u wudnt expect to hear that from a guy whoz a kvpy scholar,internships at the top two IITs...ex-head of robocon team...and blah blah :P so ye kinda makes me wonder if final yer guys have eva been as frustrated as they are nw!! As for me m not much worriedbout the placemnts coz the last thing i want to do after gettin out of engg(which i have beens o waiting for last 3 yrs) is to again do somethin related to it :P But yea m a lill concerned about what my own job future ...which is tougher...coz first i hav to define what i wanna do and then search for it!! :P

Wow!! Feels light after putting all this down man!! Have been wanting to write something...nething..for long now...seminar and proj work staring at my face now! But I feel good :) So I shall be off to work then...Hope u guys are all upto something...fiddling around in your own worlds...Take care...

So long ppl,
PC

A Passing Shower

The sun gleams down hard
I squint my eyes to see
dry leaves and parched land
it is as still as it could be.

Just then a gust of wind picks up
blows away all despair
I can see you smile at a distance
and feel your coming in the air.

The drizzle turns to a downpour
you choose to stay a while
I listen to you,mesmerized by
your kind eyes and your gorgeous smile.

We talk for hours together
your sweet voice against the pane
the rain washes away all dirt
and the world is new again.

Slowly the words die down
as we share things,said and unsaid,
and retire for the night
with a light drizzle and the star gaze.

Time flies and the dawn breaks
still in dreams, I refuse to wake
while you pack and hastily leave
too busy to even tell.

The sky is clear now
the clouds having long gone.
Ah! I know this feeling
I know it too well.

This is how I have known things to be
I take comfort in the familiarity,
Once again I went to bed with a dream
only to wake up to reality.

I am glad you came by
though you didn't belong to this hour,
you were just another one of them
you were just a passing shower.

Don't Ask Me

The inspiration for this piece is a person(prolly a guy, coz being a guy i get the guy psyche more) who is looking for space after a relationship and is so fed up of the pestering and constant questions (wat if,if n thens ,etc) that he just wants his ex to get on with it and leave him alone. give him some space and just go away.This is definitely not directed at anyone, as one of my dear friend thought it might be :P so yea without relating it to the author much jus read on..


Don't ask me why
things worked out this way,
that it could have been so different
to that I have nothing to say.

Don't ask me why did I not
stand up and stop you,
don't put the onus on me
you could have done that too!

Don't ask me what did I feel
or what I thought of you,
If you dint know this basic much
then I am glad that we are through.

Don't ask me how I am
or what's up with me
or why I am doing my stuff
for godsakes will u please let me be!

Don't ask me if there is a chance
I am sure there is none,
but if you so need to know,then
I am done playing dice with you.