My Take

मधुशाला

2011-12-16T20:11:00.011+05:30

Dec 16, 2011

हाय! इन अधरों पर अब
सूख गयी कैसे हाला,
हाय! इन बिखरे हाथों में
सूख गया कैसे प्याला,
स्वर्णिम साकी आवाज़ लगाती
इन मधु के मतवालों के बीच,
सुनसान पड़ा है पीनेवाला
बांज पड़ी यह मधुशाला।

Dec 23, 2011

कितने नाज़, अरमानों से मैंने
किया कल्पित यह जग प्याला,
कितने मृदुल भावों से
रची वह स्वर्णिम साकीबाला,
जाने अनजाने में छूटा
घड़ा जीवन अमृत का,
वास्तविकता के फर्श पर बिखरी
मेरी क्षणभंगुर मधुशाला।

वाह! वाह! पुकार सराहता
झूमता मदमस्त पीनेवाला,
हाथ पकड़ साकी को खींचता
कहता और दे यह शब्दों की हाला,
एक प्याले में एक जीवन समाये
आसान न समझ तू इसको,
कई जीवनों के नीचोड़ पर झूमे
इन पाठकों की मधुशाला।

Dec 25, 2011

भोर होते शंख नाद गूंजता
सायं छलकता प्याले पर प्याला,
सूरज की किरणों में झून्झता
सायं थिरकती साकीबाला,
दिन में जो लहू बहे
वोह सायं तेरी हाला,
यह दिन में मेरी रणभूमि
सायं तेरी मधुशाला।

Jan 03, 2012

यूहीं बैठे बैठे देख
बह गयी कितनी हाला,
इस तर्क - वितर्क की जंग में
फिसल गया हाथों से प्याला,
बूँद बूँद कर, कई बूंदों में
एक युग बीत गया,
नया भोर है, नयी उम्मीदें
नयी उम्मीदों की नव मधुशाला।

Jan 17, 2012

आखरी किरण ओझल हुई
अन्धकार में खो गया प्याला,
रोशनी की चाह में चला
धूप निगल गयी हाला,
मेरी स्वर्णिम साकी
एक काल्पनिक पात्र हुई,
बरसों की पुकारों में गूंजे
मेरी तन्हा मधुशाला।

Jan 27, 2012

बड़ी आसानी से तुने
पार पटक दिया प्याला,
भावों में बह कर बोला
ना दे मुझे यह जूठी हाला,
ऐ पीनेवाले! तू क्या जाने
उस साकी की व्यथा को,
मुबारक तुझे तेरा नया सफ़र
मुबारक तुझे नयी मधुशाला।

Jan 29, 2012

खूब गरजा, घूब बरसा
लेकिन न मिली वोह जग हाला,
ख़ुशी मुझे है यदि जो मैं
भर सका दो बूँद तेरा प्याला,
अब बह जाने दे तू मुझको
इन मद मस्त मुस्कानों के बीच,
छोड़ चला इन् मतवालों को
यह मदिरा का मोह, मृत मधुशाला।

A Random Post

2011-12-14T22:10:00.002+05:30

I see you there
as the sails catch winds and flee
farther and farther
now, just a speck in the sea.

Oh no, don't turn back
and I must not look up too
not look at the images
neither the sails, nor you.

For all I try to be otherwise
once in a while I do encounter thee
and wonder as it does every time
wonder why it affects me.

Its not the lack of answer
that troubles me though
but knowing the answer
knowing that it is so.

Today is one of those nights
as I face my ghosts
ghosts with faces and names
and so ends a random post.

False colours

2011-11-15T23:15:00.004+05:30

Another sun goes down
As I lift my head to see
See as far as I can
See if you are to be

Like the curse of the mariner
The painted sky looks back at me
Still faces, still paces
as still as it could be

But I look on
as the efforts die down
and in the warmth of the embers
Quiet finds some ground

Hoping that you would come around
and work your magic on me
In the delightful flight of yours
lift me out of my misery

Just look at me and know
words, inadequate as they be,
what I have done to them
could you please do so to me?

Not too far gone
I snap myself back
Believing in a friend, an angel, a saviour
is just allowing myself unnecessary slack

Oh! The dreams, the colours and the flight
An unreal image in my head
The sun is dead; dark it is
all so well, I hit the bed!

Turn off the lights

2011-10-26T15:21:00.006+05:30

Glory, fanfare all around
soaked in the festival of lights
sights and sounds, and smiles
Could it be any more bright?

I stand still and see
as the world passes by
spare me some space though
please dont ask me to fly

Let me just stand witness
watch the show from indoors
sky is your playground
let me please stay on the floor

Many smiles come my way
a familiar person they see
having held his fort for long
It has just gotten difficult to be

This is more convenient though
rather than break them the news
and then listen to the free flowing
advice, sympathy, help and views!

So I smile back at them
smile at being twins
smile as I hold fort
smile at the death of smile

As they meet me and leave
Good I say! I am sick of the bright
The last one leaving, do me a favour
On your way out, please turn off the lights!

A Vent

2011-07-22T20:48:00.003+05:30

C'mon! Just gimme a break
Whats with all this thinking!
Aren't you too bored of yourself?
Are you even blinking?

No I don't wish to listen to you
Your world and images
And how its hasn't been
Your day in ages!

I want an inspiration
I want a happy song
To breakaway the drudgery
To happily sing along.

To be light and fly
To the clouds that I see
No more of words please
Or I may just flee!

So shut up and lemme find
The song that subtly plays
Its like me vs. myself here
Now don't make me slay!

Fun how crazy I can be
How words vent me out
A crazy ten min of writing
Just saved someone a few shouts!

Ok! Adios amigos
Go away and don't whine
Go and do your stuff
And let me do mine!

Different ways

2011-07-22T20:32:00.004+05:30

Another one of the days
quiet and nice
as I make peace
with the external clutter
and the internal ice.

Been a while since
I simply whiled away time
no weights, no wedges
not yours, not mine.

Am I a failed inspiration
or is this just the way
we don't define the course
just our bets we play!

As the dust slowly settles
clearer and farther I see
not your bad nor mine
it so had to be.

If this were a journey
this is where it ends
another fork in the road
and we take our bends.

Dark and alien it seems
and for sometime it will be
with the hope of light and flight
different worlds we shall see.

So long my friend,
a special journey it has been
in physical we part
in spirit shall always be.

Taking chances

2011-07-20T20:55:00.002+05:30

What is so special about the day
Merrily lost in thoughts I sway
Is it something good that was
Or has it gone the other way?

As I sit, smile and write
Quietly amidst the many faces
Doesn't quite matter which way it went
As long as it was well spent.

What good is to be done
How bad can it get
The whole point is to
Go out there and play your bet!

And so I have played mine
To the best I knew
And hence the smile
Of having seen it through.

As I retire for the day
Tomorrow is a new bet
A day at a time
Is the simplest it can get!

Impromptu

2011-07-17T21:11:00.006+05:30

I feel the itch to write
for quite some time now
inspirations pass like thin clouds
the weather changes and how!

As I look outside
not be consumed by the self again
Give the thoughts some rest
No more equations of loss and gain.

As it builds up inside me
and I try to find a vent
Run, walk or just crawl
the feeling of being all so spent.

So I don't think now
what purpose has it served anyways
the plans, the images and the works
and reality's many ways!

No I don't want to word it
No I don't want to share
Words are an approximation at best
Why may you even care!

Yet in words I find my respite
Impromptu as they say
no more white boards and rough drafts
no more planning the way.

I feel the need to go
and to not take along
leave all that has been
and play to the flowing song.

All forms now collapse
I see no rhythm or rhyme
not even in these words I write
not even they are mine.

The Joker and the Joke

2011-06-26T15:40:00.005+05:30

Hi ppl,

I was away on a bicycle trip to Konkan over the last week...It was more of therapy than holiday...taught me a lot of lessons...made me push harder and farther than I ever had...inpired me to write and I do plan to write about that...not today though...

This is something I wanted to write way back in college...but then dint...for watever reasons...but then something happened and my inspiration to write this piece was up again (although in a different form and spirit than I would have earlier written).

Sometime back it was
of this joker I knew
a pleasure to be with
such people, by Lord, are few!

Oh! The tricks and the talks
and the drama that freely flowed
a never ending repertoire
of striking colours and soothing mellows

The stage, the smile, and
the carefully put together lines
engaged the audiences, big and small
as I fondly remember the times

What a sight it was
to see the artist in play
as he set the tone and pace
and went about his ways

and then towards the end
the curtains drew, up rose the smoke
in the joy and merry of it all
merged the joker and the joke

As he quietly slid backstage
and removed the smile
we exchanged pleasantries
occasionally he feebly smiled

Often we walked home together
not much did he speak
that is how I knew him to be
uneventfully passed many weeks

Then one day he disappeared
no letter, no last word
none knew where he went
no more delightful evenings were had

The audience asked me
Where is he? Will he be back?
I knew they sorely missed him
and knew he won't be

Lucky as I have mostly been
I knew the man behind the smile
to not have been so,
would have missed him by a mile

Today, after a long time
I got a letter for him
a toast raised to the times
that he had been

I read, smiled and shelved it
didn't reply lest raise false hopes
smiled cause I knew
the joker and the joke.

Somewhere

2011-06-26T15:32:00.004+05:30

Somewhere is another world
a world of infinite possibilities
of hopes and dreams and joy
far cry from this drab reality

I have have been away for too long
too long since I have even tried
I don't know where to look
grass on the other side looks just as dry

But I know it is out there
though I can't prove it to be so
something beyond ordinary it is
the divine energy that flows

There is no reason that I seek
for no explanations will suffice
just the quiet and acceptance
and a smile at the roll of the die

But let me not get carried away
in the dark and gloom of it all
this is about the spring of life
let me not delve any more into fall

For this is just time
and in it I shall pass through
block out the noise for a while
the old thoughts and the new

I shall just be for a while
away from the worldly cares
close my eyes and let it flow
I know it is around somewhere

A Clean Slate

2011-01-02T22:56:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

It is after long that I am actually writing about myself and things with me rather than a poem. And I feel nice to speak today, want to speak today.

I am not a great 'New-Year's' person as such...for me it just denotes a change in date...a function of the time measuring system we have in place. Makes me wonder at time how much frenzy there is around this change in date. Anyways, this system gives a chance to bifurcate our time in to years, months, days and so on. And to retrospect year-wise. I did just that yesterday.

The year gone by has been a mixed bag in truest sense of the word. College ended, friends parted, job started and I was introduced to this new world of bus, train and crowd! These are the more tangible changes. Other things changed too. Some that I wanted to, some that I dint want to and some that I had no idea would. The last kind is the one that affects you the most. I am no exception.

Looking back, I planned so much, had so many images in my head that I wanted to conform by. What turned out to be was completely different. At the end of it all, I can safely say that I have learnt to expect change and am learning to accept it. Not the easiest thing to do, but doesn't really come with an option! :P

But hang on, a new year has started! Isn't this supposed to be about new starts and letting bygones be bygones? Yes yes it is. Looking back I wouldn't say things are better ('better' is a debatable word anyways), but I am better equipped to handle them :) One of the greatest things I have learnt is of letting go and of letting myself be. There is a cost to be paid to everything and I am running credit :P I just hope I won't go under this time! I just need some good books now. After all they are my old friends and ticket to another world. And for all that has been, I shall let go now...and be true to now and what I feel in it. Like I read in a friend's blog sometime back, I will let all of it be a 'sunk cost'.

On the brighter side, I have plans (when have I not had them :P ) Plans to keep me occupied, plans to take me away.

Here is to a fresh start and a clean slate. Here is to me.

So long ppl...

P.S. : My mood swings are back...sucks big time! :( :P but the good part is that it will make me put pen to paper a lot more...so you can be assured of regular posts :)

A New Dawn

2010-12-27T22:47:00.004+05:30

A new dawn breaks
new light fills the sky
being grounded for so long
once again I look up to fly.

Fog and mist all around
unsure of my flight,
I hold hope and smile
as you light up the long still night.

Maybe I should have flown yesterday
maybe the best weather has passed
doubt and fear cloud my mind
as I battle with my past.

But something tells me it's a new day
that I must let go and start
that the brightest of weathers
lurks behind this passing dark.

Some things might have changed
but I shall brace this new light
shall not regret and burn
shall bask in the sunshine.

I don't fear for what I feel
as the sun dispenses the numbing chill,
for today I know that
you, my dearest, are my freewill.

A cold silent night

2010-12-18T23:34:00.004+05:30

Deja vu it is
mirror deja vu if I may,
things that have happened before
with me on other side of the play.

Too pleased with the perfect weather
go a little far did I
reminds me of the cursed mariners,
the still winds and the painted sky!

As the night grows dark
the sails dead still,
I take a deep breath to brave
the biting cold, the numbing chill.

Maybe it is only fair
maybe this is what closes the loop,
as I battle random thoughts
ungrateful nights and the beautiful hoop.

I didn't let it happen then
shall today not be done to me,
for all the calls that have gone bad then
today I shall just let things be!

It must be so at least once
good for me it is, I am told
Ok! Alright! I smile wry
as I try harder to hold.

I know not how long it shall take
know not when there shall be light
I close my eyes and smile
as I slowly dissolve into the cold silent night.

Letters to you

2010-11-29T00:17:00.002+05:30

Some more time has gone by
am back from a slow quiet walk
away from the mad rush of it all
I have found sometime to talk

Nothing major to crib about today
no major tantrums to throw
no violent swings of mood
nothing to put up a show

I talk to you and wonder
whether you are for real or not
try not to get caught in the mind though
having realised the futility of thought!

Slowly as the sky changes colour
naive to assume it would never so
reminds me of the age old adage
you shall reap as you shall sow

I look at the half lit horizon
see you fly far and high
end of day or break of dawn
from what I see, it's hard to say

Whatever it may be
am glad that you hold me through
though things have changed with time
I still write my letters to you!

May the dream never die

2010-11-21T13:58:00.002+05:30

All men are born the same
our dreams define who we are
define where we belong to
and you, my dear, belong to the stars.

Those twinkling million lights
the mysteries that they hide
the stories that they tell
are for yours to find.

So go ahead and find them
find the time to star gaze
find that shadowed voice inside, and
not get too involved in this maze.

Great thing you will accomplish
high and far you will fly
but amidst all of it
may the dream never die. :)

Accepting Change

2010-11-10T19:51:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

I am on a trip rite now to my native, Kumaon. Distance gives perspective and time, both much needed to write. The inspiration for this piece is a plain old boring fact (being that: Everthing that is will change) and my learnings from the same. As much as a cribbo I am, I am learning to ride the wave :) and not 'crib' bout yesterday's calm seas! :P Without much ado, here it is...

Accepting Change

I know it isn't advisable
I know it is probably no worth
as much as I try to stay in the now
my thoughts sway back and forth.

Another time it was
another time it is now
as I sit, smile and wonder
times sure have changed and how!

I know that change is constant
for what is know shall not remain so
accepting change still takes some effort
just knowing it doesn't mean being so!

I could dwell into the details
as I am tempted to draw compare
what good would it bring though
just some more pain and despair.

As by each passing day
I come across something new
something that wasn't so before
I stand and witness the changing hues.

Some shades hit me hard
Others I smile as I swathe
as I try to pull up my walls
and take shelter in my tested faith.

For all the derivatives that have changed
I hope the underlying has stayed the same
familiar respite I find in the ink and paper
and am back to the now from the memory lanes.

My trip is coming to an end now and have another inspiration to be penned down, about my trip and my experience here :) Hope I am able to put it to words :)

So long ppl,
PC

To Say or Not To Say

2010-07-18T22:40:00.004+05:30

Hello ppl,

I have been away realllyyyy long...so many things have happend in this while...engg got over...some real touchy moments in the end...i came home...after a a lot of unrest and much-much took up a job at Mahindra at Worli and bid HCL goodbye..and here I am now...in a different world of sorts...where I have to get up real soon...come home by 8 in the evening...just had my 1st weekend..and know why people hate mondays so much! :P tho i dont hate it so much now...maybe it will take sometime :P So many things have changed in the last quarter (not the financial quarter just the last 3 months i mean :P ) from a casual college guy to a fresher and a baccha in the corporate world..the run-of-the-mill kind atmosphere(howeva my office ppl are good (so far :P ) and helpful too)...its like people being puppets being driven by the 'leads' dished out by the 'elite' lot...while my choice of 'career' and 'what-to-do' still remains on shaky grounds..thats not the point of this blog :P the point follows... (This was inspired by this series of thoughts I was having today about the same and wondering how the whole thing plays out..)

I dont know how many of you have 'The Best Friend' or someone that you totally confide in and tell everything to...but I dont..Although there are a couple of really close frenz whom I tell most things too..not everything (unless asked to which I dont lie..coz I follow the principle 'Always tell the truth but all the truth need not be told' :P ) and I have my reasons too..

We all have our viewing glasses...the way we look at people..the way we interpret them..we all have our prejudices...some small..some big...we expect someone to be like someone/something...To eager to classify and 'know' the person...what is there to 'know' so much...just be with the person na :) neways...the point I am making is that if I tell everything there is about to to one person and, so to say, put all my eggs in one basket, what is the guarantee that the person will not drop the basket coz he/she doesn't like a couple of eggs...Worse still..the more you say about yourself and your way the more your friend becomes opinionated about you, personally or professionally (and well honestly if u ask me its just one person and one life..personal professional is just a division in the folder you create to (presumably) organise it better) casting you in an image which u are sure you are not..and thats the last thing you wanted...being thot of as the person u totally are not by a close friend..n the more you try staying yourself and honest the more unfairly skewed the opinion becomes..and thats the last thing you would want when you are letting someone in and letting yourself out..letting out the deepest wishes, dreams, aspirations, insecurities and fears, et al..

You might argue that I am here again 'expecting' the other person to 'get' me as i want to be gotten...and that is again skewed...but then like I said we all have our biases and expectations..tho I totally keep mine to the minimum..So basically the more I let myself out the more I am 'thought of' in a way that I surely would not want to be..another counter to this is that' Dude! Why shud you care...just be yourself and let them deal with it!' Well fair enough if the 'them' are regular 'not-so-imp' people..but with the close people it does matter I would say...specially whem it comes to sharing it all..

Of the things that have been,
Of the changes that I now see,
Too many opinions you hold
too many things you say,
I know you do so innocently
I realise, smile and wish anyways...

To put is simply 'No one is (probabaly) close, unopinionated or trustable enough to be told everything to and if at all someone is he/she wouldnt bother knowing it so much'

Maybe its too early and biased to make such a bold one-liner! But then as I said we all have our biases and this is mine! :P So yea this is it and I am off now...to complete some work and start off with another week tomorrow..my beloved 'maha-crowded' trains and the lovely men at their fragrant best await me! :P

So long ppl,
PC

The End of an Era

2010-05-11T23:25:00.000+05:30

Hello ppl,

I have been away for quite sometime now...My final semester exams are over and project submission will be done on saturday(15th) and then engg z done for good. This piece is dedicated to my mates who I shall leave when I leave Surat...and who knows...never meet many of them again..I wrote this somedays back. For all the ups and downs it has had...its been quite a ride for sure!

The End of an Era

That time of the year again,
as I roll the pages to see,
the colours, the words and the lovely smiles
the mag is as bright as it could be!

And at last on the pages where
till yesterday smartly my seniors stood
too many known faces I notice
and hidden somewhere in between is me.

It is really setting in now,
as the 'last time' s float around me
for the batch is a 'was' now :(
but we, my friends, shall always be! :)

Smile Again

2010-03-25T16:13:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

Days here are going super fast and all that was supposed to work out has not :P wats new in that u ask!! nothin actually :P last few days in college...ppl and the mahol tends to get senti ;) hehe...aur sab toh chal hi raha hai.. and yea a VERY HAPPY B"DAY to Andy btw...hope you come to terms well with ur mid twenties well :P while i still bask in my early twenties! ;)

This is inspired by and dedicated to a friend of mine..

Smile Again

The day is the same
Some numbers are new,
The smiles of yesterday
have all turned blue.

It is just another day
It is not the best
Don't you go off now
Singling self from the rest.

For the people are the same
and the world is too,
Just a minor roadblock
in the beautiful flight you took :)

Just like I have known everything else,
I know that you will fly again
Higher and farther than you ever have
that this is just a passing pain.

These lines probably won't change a lot,
But realise that not a lot has changed!
Soon these numbers will be past
and you, my dear, shall smile again.

A Birthday Present

2010-03-09T16:22:00.004+05:30

Hello ppl,

The inspiration for this one is plain and simple: A friend and a most beautiful person whom I have come to know over the years...How ironical that someone with whom you hardly talked ever (forget being friends) when you were studying together could become such great friend of yours when you are separated by the many miles.. Someone who has taken in all my ugly (and very ugly) moods and comments and God knows how turned out to be a greater friend after each one of them. patiently heard out all the stuff (at times crap) that I speak of...philosophy, pure cribbing, sci-tech, life or just plain girls (crushes, semi crushes, faceless names and nameless faces) :P This should have come out long back but nonetheless here it is...her birthday present.

A Gem of a Girl

Once upon a time when
I couldn't tell pebbles from pearls
and when I least expected it
in walked a gem of a girl.

What began most ordinarily
turned to a calling spree
here was someone with whom
I could just wall-lessly be :)

Talks raged on for hours
covering all from politics to philosophy
she would listen, intently and patiently,
be it about pretty girls or nature of reality!

So measured in her talk
had such calm demeanour
Pretty, smart, caring and beautiful :)
as she slowly let me know her.

What amazed me most was
not the lovely voice or dimpled smile ;)
but the patience and the peace in her
and the willingness to go the extra mile :)

I tell her that she is gifted
but she won't believe me.
That one day she will fly the world
she just needs to be set free.

To her I owe
some of my best days
of my tantrums and mood swings
and her loving and soothing ways.

Unfairly lucky as always :P
I am to have her as my friend :D
for all that she has been and done for me
I can best thank her with a pen.

Irrespective of what lies ahead
a thousand diamonds or a million pearls
no one can be who she is
very special is this gem of a girl :)

Now dont expect such a great poem every birthday,ok? :P hehe...As I said I am not very good at being good !! :P And incase I dont join HCL, do gift me a HP laptop...chup chaap se ek chura lena :P a R&D person can do this much atleast ;)

Two Different Worlds

2010-03-07T02:02:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

It has been so long I havent posted anything!! Whole of feb gone and not even a single post!! :O :P
Well, partly u can blame it on the kharab internet at my college and partly on my laziness(ofcourse :P ) I have been fine...and as usual things around have been changing...if u want to know more then call me!!

The inspiration for this piece is semi-random and semi-derived from a talk I had with an old college friend sometime back. Its about him and a friend of his..and how simple and complicated human emotions can be at the same time. It has been there at the back of my mind but only now, i.e. at 2 am, did the worlds flow out :P not exactly what I had on mind...a lill awkward wordplay here n there...nonetheless here it is :)

Two Different Worlds

How often it is that
entangled in the daily gross
the dice will roll so as
to make your paths cross.

Two different worlds we are
but merrily along we do get
What joy there is in the mysteries
unravelling each other with our fishing nets!

Fishes so beautiful I have never seen
I listen to her mesmerised
the sweet voice and the innocence
minutes it takes from midnight to sunrise.

Minutes to hours and days to months
the gorgeous smile and the twinkling eyes
fed on a healthy dose of both
I so wish I too could angelise.

Oh! I get so carried away
too comfortable to even realise
ever so innocently and unknowingly
she has put me along with her archives.

I laugh at my own mistake
laugh at the lack of humour
Two different worlds, I remind myself
and smile as I see her.

She smiles back and waves at me
as she spreads her wings to fly
back to the real life I get
too careful of the roll of the die.

Where I Belong

2010-01-22T23:47:00.003+05:30

Days to weeks to months
The hands keep ticking on
Still trying to grapple with
all that has been coming along.

In the mad rush of it all
I pause to look around,
familiar faces, familiar places,
familiar ways and familiar sounds.

But I know something is amiss
it has been so for quite sometime,
everyone is singing to their tune
but I just cant seem to find mine.

Another day passes in running around
another night passes in introspect,
disappointed in self and my mates
no clearer do my answers get.

The reflection in the mirror is hazy now
for I have been away too long,
take me back to my people and me
take me to where I truly belong.

Growing Wings

2010-01-21T19:07:00.005+05:30

Hello people :)

I know I have been away quite somewhile. A lot has happened in the past month, both internally and externally. But this is not about them. As much as i would wanna share the last month with you, I dont wanna delay on my current inspiration lest it get lost with so many other 'lost ones' and join the list of incomplete posts :P

How much ever we try not to, we tend to look at the world from your tiny little perspective, relating all to our way of thoughts and life and trying to see how others fit in our scheme of things. For once if you drop the inherent bias and try to be in the other person's shoes what you learn will surprise you. For a moment stop cribbing over your stuff and look around to people who live on with greater problems and smile and carry on just as well. The protagonist is a young woman (for a change :P ) who wishes to break the norms and live life on her own terms.This poem is a dedicated to all those brave people out there who dont cease to smile :)

Growing Wings

I smile at them and they smile back
as I turn the pages to see,
so many people, so many stories,
so many years it has been.

I yearn for a story of my own,
yearn to play the lead,
to take the paths that I have always wanted
and not just wonder where they lead.

Yearn to wake up to a morning trek
or breakfast in bed is just as well ;)
to walk along the endless waters,
the star lit skies and the enchanting smells :D

Yearn to see the distant places
and to meet people for my own,
to fall in love for once
and meet whom I have always known.

And now the box is open again
my stifled dreams now freely flow,
for as much as you love me
its time you must let me go.

For I want to take flight
glide along the winds that blow
please dont stop me or try to clip
these beautiful wings that I wish to grow.

Of New Things and Old People :)

2009-12-19T23:51:00.002+05:30

Hello ppl :)

M back home...n though initially I wasnt so keen on coming home after my xams...all is good now :) On paper toh I have so much of work to do :P shuru karne ko bore hota hai...n plus its december my fav months of the year so m happier!! :D :D gotta start on my documentary homework soon 2 ;) :P the biggest prob being that the lappy gets home only when dad reaches home(i.e. in the evenin!! :( :P ) khair...lets make the most..

Things have been changing around the usual way...last one week has been good :) I have this whole new inspiration/idea to write something..i hope i can pen it down...called 'The December Girl' ..kinda like the movie sweet november...jus that i m not dying :P Things are happenin too fast and time so bloody flies away!!Amazin how things were so still and quiet few days back in surat :) now its gear change time ;) but therez somethin I realise more and more as I get busier..that therez no substitute for true old good frenz :) wateva u do n howeva busier u get u can always count on them...n I m so darn lucky to have my fair share!! :D No matter what I do(or rather not do :P ) and where I end up...where i go and how many people come in and out(random chicks included :P ) I know(rather hope) these few will be along.. :) So to endless possibilities and the uncertainty that accmapanies...and to my dear frenz and the certainty that comes along ...CHEERS!! :D :D

Timelessness

2009-12-13T11:36:00.002+05:30

Hello folks,

End sems have ended. Last few days have been the most peaceful.I have been watching some amazing documentaries+lectures which have changed (yet again) the way I look at the world and myself in it.It is amazing what knowledge can do.There is this sense of constant unrest and turmoil (due to what I have learnt ova the last two days) as well a sense of quiet and timelessness, where I have just been floating from one day into another without any boundaries to them. In all of it I have realised that no where have I felt the need to do something(as in forced to like assignments and stuff) nor I have I felt the need to be anywhere else or be anyone else(which so often happens na) I love losing the count of days coz that means either you are super bored or depressed or that you are loving the times as they flow, and in my case it the seond one this tym(thank Lord :D ) I am not delirious (like I was in my ast blog :P ) neither am I sad...I just am.. :) which is so nice..

The hostel has been very quite too for last two days...either people are out doing tp or they have gone for their JMET test to B'bay or Ahmedabad or are at the LnT placement test in campus. My friends are getting placed finally and its such a relief to see them relieved. There is a place for everyone somewhere...matter of time before they find it :) As for me I have decided not to sit for any IT/software company...wait for some company which I wanna work in or better still not take a job at all!! :D And its definitely not a MBA now...nor do I plan to go abroad to study immediately...Just take some time off and let myself be.

Ideally I wanna go to a few places (Nepal,Kerala,Jaipur,Jodhpur, north east,etc. The list keeps growing :P ) and read a lot of books...The list of my 'to-read's has been growing for months now and I cant remem the last book I read :( Also therez this long list of subjects that I wanna find out more about. In between all this I have to find some job (any money paying activity basically :P ) of my interest...which is no mean feat(people who know how fussy and selective I am will agree with me ;) :P )

Saw Rocket Singh yest...was nice...definitely a one time watch..n I love Ranbir man!! And the gal opposite him(Shazahn Padamsee) was nicer ;) tall dusky great smile and curly hair...and a fun character!! A friend of mine got a new 22k 12 MP Nikon SLR yest! :O :D so had fun clicking few snaps with that in the evening :) This time(for the first time I guess) I am not too keen on going home..or rather staying at home...plus therez constant argument with my parents over the fact that why am I not taking my GMAT scores seriously and applying to univs or why am I not sitting for job interviews or why am I not this or that...etc etc...Socha toh kafi kuch hai dec+jan ke liye...lets c how much works out... Chalo I will get back to the lecture by David Icke that I was watching now...Amazingly he answers all those Qs which have been with me since my secong year engg...about nature of reality, nature of money and other things that we ought to know about...got this ever increasing list of lectures to watch now :)

So long ppl,
PC

HOLLLAAAAA!!!!

2009-12-09T18:55:00.002+05:30

Hola ppl,

I m super HIGH ryt now!! :D:D :P :P
DELIRIOUS!!
donno y....the ppr suckd beyond measure today btw...last three days the papers have been going progressively bad!! N my mood keep gettin progressively better everyday!! :D
Ohh..by that logic i really don wish to be happier/higher tom :P
Jus one more paper to go...n I cudnt care less bout it...

Mera saal dost mujhe collgian khilane nah le gaya...(which is a kind of chaat that we get outside our gate) So i m havin top ramen smoodles ryt now...whcih is amazin!! :D :D and watchin the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory which is amazinger!! :D :P

Just one more stupid inconsequential paper(i.e if I dont fail :P ) and then my vacations start...I have so much planned for this one!! Feel so excited bout it :D (which btw is great coz i don feel xcited so often :P ) acha ab bas...main chalta hoon...smoodles thande ho gaye :P :(
Jald hi milenge fir mere pyaare readers!! which I gues are only two!! :P (or only those many comment) hehe...

bbbyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........

Past Imperfect...Present Perfect :)

2009-12-08T21:52:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

Here I am today.. has been those kinda days...where I have so much to talk bout...so much goes thru my heads...i feel like puttin it down but it then neva happens...Ryt now i m in middle of my final exams...send sems so to say...but i m really likin these end sems...the mood in hostel is very chilled out...plus teh fact that we hav singe rooms with great weather outsyd helps!! :D 2 papers gone...2 to go...I have realsied one thing there are great advantages of lowering one's expectations...it gives such peace and calm... :P :) I dont set high targets nemore(not acad wise atleast), m not the 'scholar' like some people back home still believe me to be :P m jus some 6 ponter guy floating arnd somewher in the bottom half if the class...n honestly i enjoy it...I mean therez always those 'He was a topper in school and 8 pointer in 1st sem and then god knows wat happnd!!' kinda glances once in a while... :P some also have theories to explain that...like 'shayad koi ladki ka chakkar hai' (ya ryt!! :P ) or 'frusta gaya bechara..' , which i must say is partly right...neways so instead of fightin/arguing all this I jus enjoy lisenin to it...If ppl tlk bout me I must be worth their time ;) :P hehe.. Neways gettin back to the point...I hav pretty low xpectations from my pointers and its so nice this way!

Lotsa things have been gettin my attention off late...soem insiprations to write..something that I learn bout ppl...some things that change around me(subtly and otherwise)...and then therez always the documentaries to make me cribby and 'not-so-optimistic' :P about the world in general...But therez this though that hit me yesterday while I was studin for my today's ppr...About how our opinions change about things/people when we get to know few things bout them...bout their past and bout the people they were or things that they did!

To think bout it, we often to do na...once we hear something negative bout a person, the next tym we meet him/her we arent the usual comfy around him...although for all the time we have known him to be perfectly well meaning and a good human being...and sometimes we hear things from others and dont even care to verify the truth in it...so the question then is how important is a person's past deeds in how u perceive him/her today?how much shud I let it affect what I think of him today?

Ideally it shouldnt affect our opinion..not a lot neways...People change with time and I m sure that all of u will agree...we are so different than we were in...lets say school days...or maybe even a couple of years back...If I look at myself...my almost every belief system has changed or has been radically altered than what it was then...I have said/done some things which I am not very proud of today...But wudnt it be unfair if u were to hold it against me today!! :O :P What space will we give a person in present if we cant even let his past comfortably be!

If I meet this guy tomorrow on my way to bbay and have a great 4 hr chat with him on college and life and stuff in general..lets say he is 40 yrs old and wokin somewher which i don care to ask..and towards the end of the conversation I realise he was in jail for two years for a data theft he committed at office or something like that....woh jail shabd sunte hi mere kaan khade ho jaenge!! And immediately my guard will be up..I will refrain from chattin too much or try to keep him at distance..I gues its hard to separate oneself from the past...but must we judge based on it...or rather must we judge at all!

Another classic is the guy-gal scenario.Suppose I meet this new gal and we get along very well...We hit it off instantly and have some nice times...and jus as I come to know her better and say I begin to hav a thing for her... I realise some not so nice things she has done in her past I instantly go on guard....And in this case it is more complicated than the guy-guy scenario coz well I dint have a thing for him u c :P so now is it unfair to judge ppl on who they were and their past or must it form a refernce for the opinion we form about them..?

To wind it up fairly I would say we tend to be too caught up in our images of people and how we see them or how we want them to be...There z too much of compare contrast and evaluate goin on inside the head...too eager to put them into some stereotype or the other...so eager to reach a conclusion and cast the other person in black or white...not considering the million shades that lie in between them...and not seeing how hard the person might be tryin to move to a lighter shade of grey... I would so love to meet new people...and see them in new light...free from past and regardless of the future...just meet and treat them as my fellow beings...have no guard...hold no grudge...expect not much...love and respect them for their 'now'..but my mind wouldnt allow me so...not easily atleast...

Now I really need to get back to studying VLSI design...dont ask me the full form of VLSI..its not amusin :P and I hope to meet people without bias and pre-images...meet them as new...treat them as new :)

so long ppl,
PC

Long Timeeee...

2009-12-04T02:21:00.005+05:30

Hello ppl...

Almost 3 weeks since my last post..so many times have i thot of writing somethin(3 'just-started' drafts lie waitin) but neva got to complete any...but today i jus gotta mke this one through...

A lot has happend in the last 3 weeks...didi's wedding went great at nainital...was quite an xperience i must say...so much so that i had thot i wud rite a series of blogs on it once i come back to surat...but well that neva happnd :P n faded all my inspirations...after that was the seminar+submisn+project presentation week in college...which went decent..wore complete formals for the first time in college...so that was nice :) n off i was to bbay again for reception...Although these things were quite imp stuff in themselves i dont feel like talkin bout ne of them today...today i feel like talkin bout today...

Today has been a mixed sorta day...started with a bad+weird dream in which I leave home(obviously with my wallet,contanin the ATM card and the cell fone ;) ) over some fight with my sis+dad and desparately search for a place to spend the night...which i finally spend in some old semi open shop in regal plaza, lokpuram :P before it got any worse i got up n went back to cpmpleting my assignment...and the day jus passed...had a test at 5 in the evenin...that too jus passed...Off late i get this feeling...nothing is happenin to/with me...evrything just passes me by...

In last few weeks I have had so many inspirations to write stuff....but neva put pen to ppr or fingers to the board...Now as sleep possesses me, and my journal half done, I feel the super urge to rite something.......
---------------------------------------------

Ohh btw i slept off after that urge...jus postin it today :P ....

Too Many Firsts!!

2009-11-12T20:54:00.003+05:30

Hello people,

Hope all has been well wid u guys...things roll on here as usual...or rather NOT as usual. I last few days have been many 'firsts'...

1>Monday night without notice my cel fone went MAD!! It happnd while i was replyin some msg and talkin on a call simultneously...fiddling with too many keys at once..the cell decided it cudnt take it any longer...n started doin super weird things(including recording two voice clips which it msgd to two random ppl on my contact list!! :P ) had to turn off and on the cell many times...fir ek raat band rakhne ke baad uski halat thodi stable hui..tho it stil stuffers from the side effects of that night...screens flickers sometimes...and the scrol up dwn keys dont work..seems the fone has had enough of long serving hours :P n incessant msgin!!

2> The same night I slept off with my lens on(which is definitely not a first) but woke up with a super irritated left eye and an eye infection...for the first time!! :P which meant a whole day was helpless lost doin nothing...cudnt wok on PC or read anything for one whole day...which meant my seminar work(which was super pending then cudnt inch forward :P ) and i realised how dependent I have become on my Cell n PC!! :( :O

3> So now its tuesday evening n after delaying it a lot I decide finally doctor ke paas jaan hi padega...Dull mood + Chilly weather + Irritating eye + Even more irritating assistants at that eye clinic meant...well what can it mean..it jus suckd big tym!! Oh yes and the doctor (other than drilling a hole in my pocket, which I cant really blame him for...its his wok :P ) advises me to not wear lenses for 5 days!! :O today is the third day and I plan to wear them from tom night neways! :P But ya so many days without lenses...THATS A FIRST!!

4> For the first time lots of people in my college came to know that I wear glasses...pretty high power ones 2...they cudnt jus help staring at me and askin...Mohit teko chasma hai kya??!! Nahi bhai meko chasma nahi hai...kabhi kabhi mann karta hai bhaade ke maang ke pehen loo!! So for a few days the dude me is out and the geeky me is in..Mohit...In chasmo mein tu padhaku and geeky types lag raha hai...thats how the gals put it!! :P well what to do gals.. majboori hai...very soon though I will be back ;)

5> Our dept touched a new low again...for our final year seminar report(of atleast 50 pages, and we have no idea how to fill them!!) we were told to get leather hardbound copies with color laser printing...executive bond paper...goden embossing on cover and formatting rules which only meant one thing... REVENUE GENERATION!! The 3 copies came to 1300 bucks(which we dint get made obviously,not yet atleast ) and the seminar incharge for final year guys is such a pain in the ass...(ya u got that right..i dont believe in * :P ) we neva know what he might do with our grades in the end!!

6> AND FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD... all thanks to Phyan..which just passed us by...we had the best weather in surat eva!! :D :D it was so goddamn perfect...brought out the romantic in (even) me :) how much eva lill there is :P overcast...drizzling a lil now and then..cool winds blowing...reminded me of my native..kumaon..n i did romance...my seminar report :P

So yea that what I have been upto... the winter has finally set in it seems...my fav season of the year...so sedated and quiet :) I leave for didi's shaadi on tuesday evening... :D will surely let u know bout the happenings there...n m expecting pretty (and) good ones ;) hehe.. now i need to get back to my seminar report...hopefully aaj khatam ho hi jaegi... :P

So long people,
PC

Let them be hidden ;)

2009-11-05T02:12:00.003+05:30

The human heart has hidden treasures
In secret kept, In silence sealed.
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures
Whose charms were broken if revealed.

Lines from the movie 'Definitely Maybe' (one of my super favs!)

When I first saw the movie a year back I dint like the movie so much..the lines 2 dint make much sense..but now I see them so much more clearly...The more I see it(the movy) the more I read them..the more I love it!
Beautiful...aah...Beautiful :)
To all the little(or big ;) ) secrets that we keep...the dreams,hopes,memories and things
To write anything more would be insulting the lines :P

So long people,
Peace (And you wondered what the great mystery behind it was!! just the vowels man :P )

Where have I been??

2009-11-01T22:54:00.005+05:30

Hello ppl,

Been rather long..Hope all has been well with u guys.. The vacns were great..tho things here hav been quite unremarkable off late..

The diwali was great!! Infact I wanted to write a piece on it called 'The Lights of 2009' , but dint rite when the time was rite...n then the inspiration (well most of it) jus faded away..It is my fav festival of the year...I love the lights all around..the tons of sweets that flow in n out of the houses...the lovely traditional dresses that every1 wears and ofcorz the idea of 'victory of good over evil' :) Was quite evntful too!!wid my dads bday bein on the day I reachd home. I realised that knowin how to drive isnt always a good thing!! I was made the driver on so many occasions by my sister altho she can drive perfectly( getting married can be have great privileges!! :P ) Didi n alok(my wud be jijaji) had come home for diwali...both returned to their jobs n there was peace at last!! :P i prolly sound too selfish, but yea I like my house being empty n quiet more often that not! n guess wat after she gets married I get to keep her room :P (atlst when shez not arnd!) hehe....n ofcorz the balcony too! :D

GMAT: I have had so much of these four letter in last few months that it is a relief to get done with it finally!! 26th oct was the date...n well I got a 710( i would hav loved a 730!!)...which is a pretty decent score :) so thats a happy 26th!! :D :D The experience was quite a thing man...the xam centre was so uber cool...with camera surveillance, e-signature, palm scan and stuf!! I had neva given a palm scan before...made quite a fool of myslf givin it the 1st time :P hehe..and then being given ear plugs n cool lookin plastic coated pads to write on...well i felt like quite an executive :D ;) and aah the feeling of coming out after the exam n scoring a 700 up... Seriously felt like a a big weight had gone off me!! And then I had to take time off...so Marine Drive ki jay ho!!

And other than GMAT there is another highlight of my diwali.. a new friend that I made...amazing how u know som1 exist for so long but neva really think u will be frenz with him/her(its not the 1st time that has happend with me!! :P )... kind of person who would make you believe in the good there is in the world(how much eva lill it mite be )...who has nothin to do with my GMAT n who isnt super inquisitive bout my future plans and what i m gonna do next...n wats been up wid me...blah blah...so its always nice to be with som1 with whom u can not think bout gmat,cat,toefl,work ex etc etc :P and jus let the other person in u be :) ... got me sweets to celebrate my score when we met !! Mithai alwaysmakes me happy :D pata nahi un sweets ka kya hota had I not got a good score!! Neways main kha hi jata :P its nice to have a fresh view of of the world again..listen to opinions and perspectives...nothing superficial or fake bout them...still optimistic and upbeat...unlike mine which are a lill cynical and numbed down by my so called growing up and graduation years!! In that way it was definitely a memorable diwali :) plus it is always nice to listen sometimes as opposed to always keep talkin n be the entertainer :P hehe... You,dear friend, make a light of 2009.. :)

And now back to college..its dry and quiet as usual here..for last one week we hav been havin no classes...mass bunk!! i donno y...prolly its a CAT bunk or jus a tp wala bunk...or coz junta is so frustrated that there are no placements!! Have been wastin a lot of time and now as a result have this pile of work to do!! My dear friend VJ who was here jus sometime back says the placement pressure is gettin to him too!! :O thats a surprise...i mean u wudnt expect to hear that from a guy whoz a kvpy scholar,internships at the top two IITs...ex-head of robocon team...and blah blah :P so ye kinda makes me wonder if final yer guys have eva been as frustrated as they are nw!! As for me m not much worriedbout the placemnts coz the last thing i want to do after gettin out of engg(which i have beens o waiting for last 3 yrs) is to again do somethin related to it :P But yea m a lill concerned about what my own job future ...which is tougher...coz first i hav to define what i wanna do and then search for it!! :P

Wow!! Feels light after putting all this down man!! Have been wanting to write something...nething..for long now...seminar and proj work staring at my face now! But I feel good :) So I shall be off to work then...Hope u guys are all upto something...fiddling around in your own worlds...Take care...

So long ppl,
PC

A Passing Shower

2009-10-16T23:35:00.002+05:30

The sun gleams down hard
I squint my eyes to see
dry leaves and parched land
it is as still as it could be.

Just then a gust of wind picks up
blows away all despair
I can see you smile at a distance
and feel your coming in the air.

The drizzle turns to a downpour
you choose to stay a while
I listen to you,mesmerized by
your kind eyes and your gorgeous smile.

We talk for hours together
your sweet voice against the pane
the rain washes away all dirt
and the world is new again.

Slowly the words die down
as we share things,said and unsaid,
and retire for the night
with a light drizzle and the star gaze.

Time flies and the dawn breaks
still in dreams, I refuse to wake
while you pack and hastily leave
too busy to even tell.

The sky is clear now
the clouds having long gone.
Ah! I know this feeling
I know it too well.

This is how I have known things to be
I take comfort in the familiarity,
Once again I went to bed with a dream
only to wake up to reality.

I am glad you came by
though you didn't belong to this hour,
you were just another one of them
you were just a passing shower.

Don't Ask Me

2009-10-12T21:45:00.007+05:30

The inspiration for this piece is a person(prolly a guy, coz being a guy i get the guy psyche more) who is looking for space after a relationship and is so fed up of the pestering and constant questions (wat if,if n thens ,etc) that he just wants his ex to get on with it and leave him alone. give him some space and just go away.This is definitely not directed at anyone, as one of my dear friend thought it might be :P so yea without relating it to the author much jus read on..

Don't ask me why
things worked out this way,
that it could have been so different
to that I have nothing to say.

Don't ask me why did I not
stand up and stop you,
don't put the onus on me
you could have done that too!

Don't ask me what did I feel
or what I thought of you,
If you dint know this basic much
then I am glad that we are through.

Don't ask me how I am
or what's up with me
or why I am doing my stuff
for godsakes will u please let me be!

Don't ask me if there is a chance
I am sure there is none,
but if you so need to know,then
I am done playing dice with you.

One of those days..

2009-10-07T20:14:00.002+05:30

The second internals start frm tom...the same old 2 pprs/day funda... surrounded by books and notes and lotsa xerox stuf i hav no desire to open...but its doent really depend on my desire..what i wanna do and what i dont...its like this preset path...jus go along with it...like a wheel moving in a narrow space...the more it tries to reason the make space the more wear n tear there is...

Well but then its just two more days and atlst for now it will be done...i cant wait to get out of here...totally free(in a less than an year's time)...to read more know more and gain a nw perspective...its nott hat bad here...but i gues i m just hit by a pre xam 'chain of thoughts' if i may so say...a couple of days down theline it will all appaer better and soon i will head home...but then all stay the same...the people the place the whole thing man!!

I gues m getin suckd into this...this apparently pointless thinkin (and cribbin)...specially when i can so ill afford it...don wanna be a victim of 'paralysis by analysis' :P not 2day atlst...so yea back i go again into this neva endin pile of books/xerox/ etc etc... call it xam blues...i jus call it engg!!Its jus one of those days...not the first one nor the last...just one of them..

Ties that bind

2009-10-04T16:43:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl,

This was written just aftr i completed my Art of Living: YES+ course in surat. That was the best week of my life.It is dedicated to the teacher and his many forms.

Ties That Bind

For all the years put in wait
and surging emotions: love and hate,
Countless nights I forced to pass
Hoping and dreaming, tomorrow will be greener grass.

Frustration and the blame game
was played so well
no action to improve
but ample curses to hell.

And then you came along
put on my lips a beautiful song :)
it is magical and I fail to find a logic to
I cant keep the smile off my face
and hope to pass it on.

Never before was there such clarity of thought
Never could I hear myself so well
It is like finding a second life
and finally giving some rest to hell ;)

Having waited for colours so long
Only to realise i was being colourblind,
With a humble thanks to you Guruji
I take flight leaving all the ties that bind.

Free Energy,eh?

2009-10-04T16:40:00.001+05:30

Hello ppl,

Another one of my older works..being put up now.

Free Energy,eh??

It is like a window to the fast paced hectic world.A small nescafe coffee shop along a turn which opens into the main highway.More of a counter than a shop actually, and the only place to sit is the concrete step covered with old fashioned coarse granite tiles. In front is a large cicle,at a fourway crossing,with a fountain(which doesnt always work) and a metal statue of an elephant.Ideal place to just sit,sip and think.There are always enough people around, and observing people being my hobby,its always enjoyable sitting there.Music,coffee and solitude makes for a great recipe for random thoughts and talks with self.

Yesterday was another such day.It was around ten in the night.Weather was pretty cool, thanks to light drizzles in the evening.Bikes and cars were zooming around with not much respect to rules(strangely i havent still got used to it, this being my third year here).Some of them stopping by for a cup of coffee. Its quite a mix of people you have there.Professionals in soot-boot, adrenaline ruled,hair coloured youth ,families with the husband coming out of the car to take the order :P and pretty gals too sometimes.So while i was there yesterday amidst the buzz of the place(though it was a little quieter than usual), a interesting chain of thoughts crossed my mind.There were so many people going about merrily,cars and bikes flying by,tall buildings in the background and an overall sketch of a nice happy place.My mind then drifted to the energy being used there right in front of me in form of fuel,electricity,etc and there was so much of it.No wonder we have severe energy crisis world over.It also reminded me of the fans and lights run back in our hostels even when they are not required and worse still when no one is in the room(the argument that i often get in the favour is that ...well we arent paying for it,atleast direactly,so how does it matter.The energy is FREE!!!)

This notion of free energy suprises me greatly.It simply means that everything that goes around is equated with the amount of money being associated with it(spent or aquired).And this is very dangerous because it is based on the very fundamental assumption that money is equivalent of the resource being used(energy in this case).In effect it means that if I m not directly paying for it (or rather if someone else is) then the energy costs nothing.It is free.Wrong.Maha wrong.Energy is never free.We tend to equate money witheverything. Energy,commodities,services,education,et al.We tend to forget that currency in itself are nothing but just some light weight paperish bits which are conveniently substitue for barter system in this increasingly complex world.Money equates one kind of work(or commodity, or both) with other.It is like a medium of work transfer(if I can call it that without sounding too fancy).For eg: I work in a store for two hours and the amount i earn i spend over a pizza.So my work was equivalent to the work done in makin and serving that pizza, and the money exchanged ascertains that.Currency inherently doesnt have any value,is no natural resource.I know the counter argument obviously being that everything around is stiil dealt for in currency and after the money is gotten by doing some useful work and hence value or some resource(your work bein the resource over here) gets attached to it.Yes thats true and absolutely fine.But nowadays money is being associated with as the only valuable thing and everything else valued according to it(ironically).It gives the people a right to fiddle with nature.Self appointed right of course.And that is scary.Money alters beleifs of people and hence their system and immediate reality.But lets not get into belief systems and nature ofreality.That in itself is an ocean of a topic.

Lets us consider an example.Suppose my roomate and I leave our hostel room for 5 hours and the fan,light and our desktops keep running meanwhile(what the hell,we arent paying for it, are we?).And if i equate the amount of electricity wasted lets say it comes to a hundred bucks.Now do you think these hundred rupees made the energy.Obviously not.What is important to realise here is that the energy wasted is gone.Gone forever.It was made by I donno how many trees bein fossilised over thousands of years(electricity here being largely coal based).Do u get it now?It is like I have cut down and wasted ten trees and a work of ten thousand years(lets say) because I felt the energy was FREE!!! Sounds ridiculous doesnt it?Lets take another example.Suppose I have ten thousand rupees and I waste energy equivalent to five thousand rupees and still pay the service provider 10k because lets say I have lots of money.How mant trees did I pull down for this?I m sure the manufacturer would be overjoyed with such a customer.But how justified am I in doing this.Who is to check me from doing this?Afterall I paid up, right?Who is to separate the cost and worth of a resource?I know we as inhabitants of this land, and the most intelligent ones at that, we have the right to use what it has to offer and make our lives simpler and convenient.Thats fair enough.At the same time we must not forget that at the end of the day nothing is free.It is getting paid for very dearly.Economics and common sense arent the best partners.Currency doesnt create resources.It creates illusions.

So long ppl,
PC

Shades of Grey

2009-10-04T16:36:00.002+05:30

Hello ppl,

This is something that I wrote long back...a couple of years maybe...now that I m finally blogging I m putting it up here :)

Shades of Grey

All mornings bright and clear
so little to darken the skies,
school,family and all the peers
small world and wondering eyes.

Fast did the days go by
life still along familiar lanes,
little joys and simple fears
bruised knees and broken panes.

It is a big world my boy
and you haven't even begun,
grown ups and their words
distant horizon and sinking sun.

Old enough to walk the way
Young enough to not question,
The sky still lit,traces of white
longing for dawn,battling twilight.

Ah yes! so this is the place
this is where the way leads,
overjoyed he looks around
hundreds of others on barren grounds.

Soon did the illusions end
it is black all around,
smiles he still does see
on faces united by the dark.

There must be more to it
complains and consoles himself,
dying earth and virtual people
a million thoughts buzz his mind.

Questions cloud his mind
he tries the light of conscience,
a small candle in an abyss
baffling conventions and efforts in vain.

All he wants is the mornings clear,
white of dawn back into life,
little joys and simple fears,
bruised knees and broken panes.

Numbed by the buzzing thoughts
having lost the sense of time,
It is not black and it will not be white again,
all he sees is shades of grey.

The Theory of Everything

2009-09-29T21:31:00.004+05:30

Hello ppl,

Its been sometime since i wrote na...i missed it too(assumin that u missd readin it :P)..last week has been truly hectic and finally I have something to keep me busy(alas my studies are to suffer all the more) and no its not a gal!! so yea..had been home for the last weekend...sister's engagement.It is quite a feeling to see your sister getting engaged to be married in the coming month.Just another sign that we arent kids nemore :( :P well of course the good part is that i get to keep her big room and the dio.yayy!! :D

This thing happened last tuesday when i was returning to Surat from home.I shall write the whole thing is present tense coz i can feel it more that way...do overlook few glitches here and there..

I take the 2 O' clock train instead of the usual 430 as I have to reach early for some work.The general dabba is pretty crowded but there is enough place to stand...so I jus put my bag on the rack and find a nice support to lean on.Gonna be another one of those sweaty journeys.Just then this guy barges in pushing n shoving people to the sides and starts arguing(gaali waali n all!!) with a few men(pan eatin/spittin types, the kind with whom u really dont want to get into a tiff with) who were slpin on the upper berth...reason (i later realise) being that he had come to drop off his two younger cousins(whom he wanted to be seated b4 the train starts)...a guy who looked not more than 16-17 and a gal about the same age...i give a half smile to ease their embarassmnt and discomfort a little..neways the train starts soon and the angry 'protective' older bro leaves. I realise I have company and none of us have seats.Some small talk later I know that these two kids Dharam and Kavita are returning home their uncle's place in bombay.A kind lady offers kavita a seat so now that leaves me and dharam standing.He is clearly uncomfortable with the setup...the young(well to do too, I suppose) guy has never travelled in a general dabba I m sure.He tells me that he is not worried for himself but for his sister(who btw is in 1st year degree college n this guy is in 11th!!) coz she has never travelled alone(so typically overprotective bro,but then he is young, so I gotta give it to him.I m sure the gal can look after herself or neways will have to learn so soon!)...he gives suspicious glances to the men sitting next to us who are making merry and obviously don notice him or give a damn... The mood settles down..Kavita sitting quietly(atleast shez sitting :P) Dharam standing and constanly keeping an eye on the men(very sure that they are gonna pass a comment or something) I constantly reassure hin that dont worry they are good men...just that they dont look so good in their appearance and talk...a little over half an hour into the journey and two n hf hrs still to go...This is why I always carry a book along :D Stephen Hawking comes to my rescue with his Theory of Everything.I havent been able to complete this book though I have been reading it on and off for quite some time now...

There are lot of things happening around..and its hard to concentate on theory of relativity,big bang and the black holes...so i jus put the book back in my bag and be with the general dabba environmnt :) the tea guy who comes across as a very jovial fellow singing loudly..'chai achi na lage to paise mat dena' and 'chai piyo mast jiyo' and has a lovely hyderabadi muslim accent...it seems the men sittin next to us and the hanif bhai(the chai guy) no each other well(both being regulars in the train i would suppose)...they strike up some lively conversation which i find very interesting...people have always been my first interest...and it is not often that I get to interact and talk with people I am travellin with..Hanif has to attend a friend's birthday in Daman and is in a hurry to sell off all the chai and jump of the train...literally!! :P I freak out when i realise a hand is hanging from above!!There is a man sleeping(though my initial reaction is that he might be dead!! :O ) on the luggage rack right above my head..WOAH!! Talk about optimum space utilisation...he is with the other men...and one of them climbs on the seat and ties his hand with a piece of cloth to the rack...All of them start chuckling...I too smile..butDharam is stil too suspicious to see the funny side of it :P

As the journey progresses I make some small talk with one ot the men,Asif,a young guy(25 i would say) and found out that they are labour workers in mumbai with families back in jodhpur...so make this journey back home once a month...I overhear oen man talkin to his kid(i suppose. i cudnt make much out of the language) and telling him that he has got something for him...n by his reaction i can make out the kid is very happy :) There is a big group ofthem not less than 30 i suppose...distributed over this bogey and the next one...I lose all my inhibitions once i stat talkin to him...gues wat??he seems rather intimidated by me ...but soon both of us are talking...only the last nite India crashed out of the Champions Trophy...so thats a hot topic...with one of them claiming that Aus will win it and the other vehemently opposing it...I stay careful not to get pulled into the discussion an smile at both of them acceptin both their views...This is turning out to be better than i xpected...the lady next to Kavita has a small kid with her...3-4 yrs old i gues...I look at him from time to time...smiling and making faces...he is amused and wonders who this cartoon is...even his mom(i suppose) sees the funny part of it and smiles...I request Asif to let me share his seat and he obliges readily...Who says these men are bad?? ohh ya..Dharam says ...hehe....and he is not very amused at both Kavita and me, being seated now and he alone is left standing so i offer him my seat and keep talking to Asif on and off...I notice that they are so happy together...njoyin and making teh most of their jourrney.I m sure they have enough problems of their own,but they so are making the most of the moment(something that we often fail to do)...So lovingly fiting over the pan or gutkha or wateva it is and sharing everthing they eat from wada pav to delicious smelling bhel ...who am i(or we) to judge them by their appearance and their (so called) rawness in manners...They are genuine ppl(as genuine as u or me) and so ready to laugh or shout ....show happiness or anger...not carin what others around would say...something that we educated ppl cant often do!! I request one of them to gimme a little place to sit and finally!! all of us have seats :P so simple u just need to be patient smile a little and ask lovingly...why would someone not help if he can...the rest of the trip passes thinking about random stuff and talking a little to Dharam and hearing about his plans and smiling lookin at that small kid sittin opposite to me..both of us are amused :D

20 mins past 5 in the evening and its Surat...I get up thanking Asif to let me sit and share his seat...he smiles back at me and says...'Arey sahab hum seat bas isiliye nahi dete kyunki raat ko seat par hi sona hota hai.warna hum bure aadmi nahi hai' . That sends a chill down my spine and i figure that this is with reference to the advice I was giving to Dharam earlier, regarding how to be carefull of the shady people while travelling in genreal compartment.Asif must have overheard that.With guilt laden smile I thank him again and get down.Every journey teaches me something...I always get down from a train as a wiser person.And this was no different.I had learnt my Theory of Everything: Love,Patience and Smile :) much easier to understand than Hawking's version of the theory!! :P

ps: Still be careful while travellin...not everyone is Asif...

So long ppl,
PC

Destiny...or is it?

2009-09-21T03:02:00.004+05:30

Hello people,

Its becoming a rather evryday thing isnt it?Hope u arent gettin bored already? :P Ohh i forgot ...for that u wud actually hav to visit the blog n read it...which doesn seem so (other than for a couple of guys !)...for all i no it seems m talkin to myself here!! :P Neways that is fun too...if u cant talk to urself once in a while then how will u talk to others!!

Ok,enof of fundas...the topic for the day is(without sounding newsreader-ish :P) DESTINY
How is it defined?Is it a micro scale or macro scale thing?Does it allow for free will or does it override it?Or are there different levels of freewill like a more daily n local one,by which u decide what to wear,where to go,what to eat,etc and a more broader and meaningful freewill which makes u the person u are and decides what u do with life? And finally is all of it written in stone...or is some of it editable??

To begin with what do we call destiny?? The power that controls what is to happen in future...hmm...It is what will happen to a a person in future.We all have at sometime or other said, 'Its all destiny yaar' or 'Yeh toh saale ki kismat thi' ,but does this thing exist? I am sure all have heard the classical arguments for and against it existence.
For: No matter what you do life will take its own course.U are destined to a lead a particular life and so shall be.It is all written beforehand.
Against: Life is what man makes of it.What is do or dont is on me and not on some false idea of a all controlling destiny.i decide what i want to become.A pilot or a plumber!! And my hard work is what defines my progress and state in life.

Now we come to a very interesting point.Are the choices we make random are really freewilled? For eg: (lets say) Jay has lead a very measured and a predictable life till now. Some school and then some college. Nothin exceptional or out of the blue. He (like everyone else) learns from the people around forms his opinions on what he sees and reads.When he was in school he took interest in astronomy and space science,like most other school kids.Read those fancy space books and was really fascinated by them. Then school ended and he just went along with the crowd.studied science and then chemical engineering.And in the due course of time he realised that this just wasnt right!!What a waste of time it had all been.He felt wasted bout the fact that he had given into the system and 'what was expected of a boy like him' so easily, specially so being a non conformist that he always was.He dint like the idea of someone else mapping out what he was to do life.Just the kind of person who would say, 'I make my own destiny'. And in one of the college festivals,he met a science professor who rekindled his interest in space science.During the last two years of his life he started taking keen interest in astronomy again.After having studied the best way he could today he applied for a seat in a degree in space science in the best research institute in the country.

He has a 6 hour train journey to make to the examination centre.Being such a crucial exam he plays it safe and leaves a day in advance.In the train he meets a stranger, Mr Sen.Although older than him in years and experience they get along well.Talk about various things both philosophical and everyday like.And they finally stumble upon the topic:destiny. Mr Sen tells him that, ' All that you see around you, my dear friend, is destined' and that it was destined that Jay would write this exam one day and if God willing pass it too. This thought of destiny is repulsive to Jay.He doensnt like the fact that after having faced so much of trouble in life and having studied so hard, all it means is that his destiny and not he himself is responsible what he is today. And that even his passing in the exam should be God's will n not his own.He argues vehemently againt it but realises that Sen does have a point.Afterall Jay has done things in life he never really wanted to do and outcomes he never really wanted but still through all that he sailed through and is here now. Still he doesnt like th idea that he hasnt been the sole controller of his life.He even plays with teh thought of skipping the exam and proving it to Sen that he is sole controller! But other than the idea being absolutely ridiculous he realises that it could be easily argued that his meeting Sen and dropping the exam was destined too, if he were to take that step.He does accept that things hadnt worked out as logically as he had planned...when he wanted study astronomy he went into chemical engg and when he thought having got into it he would continue with research he came back to his original love.Reluctantly accepting that there is some sort of abstarct force controlling the direction of events he bids Sen farewell. He really cant afford to be worked up day before his exam and waste his energy on this...but he puts it on his 'to do list after exam.

Now coming back to the discussion ...is destiny micro level or macro level? As in is it applicable for bigger things in life like career,where u live , ur partner ,etc or is it equally applicable for more everyday things like where i will go tom or what will i wear, etc? Can u plan out of destiny?We all love planning dont we? And making lists...of this and that and what not.Look back and check how many of those plans actually did work out :P somewhere i read...if u wanna make God laugh make plans! So though plans do keep life interestin and giv us somethin to wok on they certainly do not totally define the future! The smaller things we still have direct control over...but the bigger things in life I do believe are affected by a force that is above us(call it wateva u please)..Jay surely hadnt planned on meeting that professor who catalysed his interest back into space science.Maybe he dint even want to go to the science fair...he was just pulled along by his friends.Such arbitrary and seemingly small things do sometimes change the way we look at life and what we make of it.Suppose u randomly pick up a book which changes ur life..is that then destiny?or wud u then argue there is no destiny...and it was ur hand that picked up the book and not destiny's.

Another very famous and overly used application of destiny(and one of my personal favs) is finding your love/partner/spouse.It has been the topic of many a movies and books alike and m sure will be for some more to come.Because all of us love this idea that there is one for each one of us,somewhere in the world and that he/she will come to us.It might take time but will surely happen!!I dont believe in this one so much...Its amazin hw we got arnd to believe such things...movies n books mayb :P and the quest for eternal romance!! Butstill i like the idea of it.The idea that come what may(which includes years of separation,marriage or even children) the lovers will eventually reunite!!Very filmy na...hence appealing mayb! :P Ohh btw if u like this idea too,then watch the movie 'Definitely Maybe'.It makes my top 10.

Now tryin to summarise and bring to end this seemingly never ending set to arguments and counter arguments..Destiny to me definitely exists...it defines what becomes of you.It definitely makes space for freewill(afterall one should have some sense of control in one's life). It remodifies itself according to the actions(karma if u may call it) u take but in the long run I would like to believe that it is defined by the person you and your value system.Actions are like the ATM card required to encash destiny.It is like a river's path.How much ever unrest and expression of freewill the flowing water may cause...finally it has to flow along the river's path.A drop doesnt see the bigger picture and hence believes that wateva it does is totally freewilled.Destiny is surely lot more than a retrospective excuse for something that dint turn out the way you wanted it too!!So if u tell me that Ambani got rich coz he had the stars...that is true!!But he had to encash his stars!!Now since the density of the word destiny has gone really high...i shall stop here!! :P
I do believe that good things happen to good people(they are made to wait a lill or a lot for it) and I would also like to believe that my gal is around there somewhere... :) I dont hope to meet her (or even the possibility of her being her)very soon...let both of us take time... ;)

So my dear reader the question is(if u have infact gotten so far reading this :P ) Do you believe in destiny?

p.s. Jay did pass the exam and is now in the final year of his course.I say that boy is destined to make it big!! ;)

So long people,
PC

Are you focussed enough??

2009-09-20T18:37:00.003+05:30

Hello ppl...

Been a rather lazy sunday...following a lazy friday and saturday :P today however has been dull too unlike last two.Sleepy and unhapening.I did try to watch amelie,a french movie( gorgeous audrey tautou plays the lead) Its a very different movie from the ones m used to seeing..its narration and style is interestin,funny and to me a lill unusual all at the same time! Cudnt stick around long enof tho...got thru jus half.slow n boring...n at times gives the feel that nothind is hapning!

Its evening already. Sundays (or for that matter any holidays with nothin much done) give a feel that they start with evenings directly...no morning or aftrnoons. Everyone around seems to have something to do,somewhere to go.Even i hav things to do so to say..books that i wanted to read stay untouched and the books that i must read arent being read that often. Its just the kind of setting that today sucks you into a nonchalant, philosophical(a lill) and a passive observer sort of mood.

Today after lunch, I wandered off to a friend's room, who as always was studying for the post grad studies' entrance exams coming up. It amazing u no...when i entered engg i thought..aah!this is it.NIT mein admission mil gaya..ab toh life set hai...a good job and a good life follows..no more padhai after this!! Now in final year,a lill older, a lot wiser, i know that nothin could have been farther from the truth.CAT,XAT,JMET,GRE ,GATE,TOEFL and i donno how many more. U name it and its there! I have always heard from others (parents specially) : Find your goal in life and stay focussed..but its neva been that easy.I see so many around me working for a certain thing.While I can never sort out what to do, or so to say stay completely focussed. It doesnt come to me...I just cant make myself hell bent on one thing and than do it.I donno whether its my non-conformism to the existing systems or just plain laziness and fickle mindedness!!

What does focus or rather being focussed mean??Does it mean deciding(irrespective of knowing) to do one thing and then just stay at it...or is it more flexible??Does one always have to know what is to be done in life with life? I know quite a few people around me who are doing thing,focussing so to say coz evryone else is doing the same and others who are not coz they do not know what their calling is.I m a lill of the latter.For me the way I look at the world and its functions changes everyday as I learn n observe more, understand one more thing that I dint yesterday.And hence what i wanna do with my life changes a lill evryday...though the ideal picture always stays the same...the practical way of going about it changes evrytime i come across something new...something that i dint no bout..something that changes the way I look at things.It could be a great book,a piece of news,a movie or even some gyaan that i hear from someone(philosophical or not). There are some people who seem to know what they want from life...and they have always known so! They fascinate me...i try to get in their head n try to know what they think about things...how they look at life in general..prolly there in lies my answer about this thing called focus and always knowing what to do. Or maybe there is no absolute answer to the question...Maybe their right is no more righter than my right or someone else's right.Being focussed can a very relative term...without having much broader use.Right now i m focussed on riting this post...and my dear fren who was focussed on his studies in the afternoon is focussed on his date now ;) (or thats what i assume since he dint clearly say where he was goin and called to ask for the address of a new eatery in the city :P ) Or simply put I will just try n be focussed on the now(which is bath,dinner and then studies!!) rather than over thinking bout people and the world,which is must say on a day like this can be addictive and very convenient :P And as always do my thing..know more!! therez so much to know :) On that note i will wrap up...

So long people,
Stay focussed ;) :P
PC

Frog in a well

2009-09-17T19:30:00.002+05:30

Hello people :)

Today I am in a pretty good mood.No particular reason i suppose.Been a usual day with studying sleepin eatin etc in it...but yea what I m xcited bout is a particular documentary I saw...of late i have been seeing many of them..and they have certainly changed the way i look at the world.There are a few MUST WATCHS: Zeitgeist,Zeitgeist Addendum,Money as Debt and Free Energy-The Race to Zero Point!!!the last one being the one i saw today.

I heard somewhere(or read maybe i don remember) that the best things in the world are free and that the world belongs to everyone.I donno how much of that is true today but what I m assured of now is that free energy is available.FREE ENERGY basically means u dont have to pay for it.U can make enrgy out of thin air...WOW!! I mean can u imagine a world free of energy hassles??No fuel worries no long electricity bills jus free flowing energy all around just waiting to be tapped..Its hard for me to imagine but what a lovely thought!! And the ways shown in the doc to achieve this are well pretty possible to say the least,possible i.e if it wasnt for the all influential political n economic superpowers standing against it.I mean it isnt hard to understand why the major conventional energy companies(oil,natural gas,coal etc) and the (money and capitalistic gain driven) banking and monetary system would be opposed to such a thing.In past scientist have been actually murdered before they could take their findings public and work on the same!!Talk bout freedom of expression and thought! Money is a fascinating concept(one of my two fav subjects).Wasnt it originally created to facilitate smooth trade n exchange of commodities without the need for bartering them.It was a means to get things done and a symbol of actual value(in this case the gold against which it was evaluated).Now all that is gone and amazingly money dictates human behaviour(including scientific progress) instead of being the other way around!! So now that land us in a situation where very few individuals(read owners of major banks and financial cos) control the flow of money and hence human response and finally the fate of the world! Ohh global warming..i don wanna get carried away in the flow :P but yea the more you think bout all this the more it gets broader and well at times philosophical too.

Teacher: Did u know that Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and it prompted him to think and finally discover gravity!!

Student: Ohh he must have been! Had he been in a classroom he wudnt have discovered nething!!

That was incase u got really bored reading the last para :P
Ohh i must say there is a lot of importance attached to the appl falling incident and newton had already been thinking of the phenomenon when it happned.but nonetheless it makes for great jokes and referrals!! ;)

There is so much around that we do not know about.And what is worse is that we are least bothered.It is like we are too comfortable (or lazy to challenge) the way we think(or rather have been trained to think), the way we have been told things are supposed to be and have always been.Like a frog in a well.Just think when was the last time u really thought about something(other than what to wear,which movie next and what will i life bla bla, basically somethin not about urself and ur small well) important to the general human good lets say.I really dont want to list out all that is bad with the world rite now.u prolly no all of it.but we really dont read/think/work on it as often as we should.It is like everything around...the society,the schooling,the college and the job system is an intricately woven web to keep us entagled in ourselves and our worries and not let us reach out.A friend of mine once told me...Newton saala lucky tha...uske paas pedh ke neeche bhaithne ka time tha...itna time kahan hai hamare paas!!hehe...true as it may be but time is for what we allocate it too.Plus most people i know around have tons of time not knowing what to put it to!!

I find it amazing that there were far greater original thoughts and works(scientific,philosophical or social) some decades back when the technology was less advanced and we had lesser to work with than there are now.Now as we,so to say, evolve as become better equipped I feel there is lesser groundbreaking discoveries or original stuff out there.Its just my perception and maybe I m wrong in this(for once i really wanna be wrong) but i feel the as the days go by there is lesser freewill in the world.On the face of it the thought obviously feels stupid!!I mean all of are free to choose what we want write or are we?? Think about it...are u really doing what u wanted to do as a child..back then we used to wait...yaar kab bade honge..aur yeh sab karenge!! And now well u all know the story :P I am very tempted to extend it to my personal theory of impendin mass destruction and possible doomsday(though human race mite survive)...but that for some other day. I do have some optimism in me as well :) and also i do want u 2 visit my blog again sometime(and not scare u off this very time :P)

I have prolly put in a lot of random stuff up there.Direct flowing thoughts..no editing sorts :P But ya the idea is that we must drop some conventions (if not all) and the try n hop out of the well for,well, a better future in general...Otherwise there is always a politically motivated,economically driven, 'not so safe' on the verge (read conventionally normal) world to fall back to!!

So long people,
PC

The Sunshine Smile

2009-09-15T19:21:00.002+05:30

Hello people,

This blogging thing is addictive man!! :P Everything (creative or not) that goes arnd in my head i feel like puttin it up here. What follows is a small piece i wrote(in the wee hours of morning,after watching the movie,once again!). Inspiration drawn from Mark(a character in the movie 'Love Actually' , who totally loves this gal Juliet(keira knightley) but at best can just play the bestman at her wedding with his best friend Peter). I really like this guy Mark. Other than being great looking he has this understated charm about himself...and well miss Knightley and her sunshine smile...gorgeous!!Some lill bits are made up(call it creativity :P ). Neways, this one is for you Mark :)

The Sunshine Smile

Aah! What lovely day it is
joyous people all around,
from the end of the aisle you enter
walking angel in a wedding gown.

To see you float towards me
my mind so fondly wanders away,
to the days when u were
the only reason for me to stay.

On the way back home
you would often describe this day,
I hope it is all you ever wanted and more
and that you are happy in every way.

As for me, I look fine too
very soon though I shall be gone.
I did the best I could
cudn't better though being the best man.

I loved with all I knew was love
But never could go the extra mile.
I would like to shout as he leads you out
for the last time see the sunshine smile.

Hehe, reading it again it sounds so kiddishly rhyming :P Neways, I really hope he dates the gals he planned to before the next christmas ;)

Its been a mixed couple of days....India won!!Federer lost :( :( and my neighbour cum good friend is soon gonna get a bike!! :D and there is a seemingly great Asimov waiting to be read.So I would say its regular days here.

So long people,
PC

Aah here I begin..

2009-09-14T00:07:00.006+05:30

Hello people...

Its almost three years since I registered and here is my first post.Talk about starting slow!! :P Last few days have been a little hectic(had gone home after long afterall!!).Reached hostel just yesterday.Now i face the classic first blog dilemma...what to write and what not to write..hmm..will start with something general.ohh...before that...i know some of you will have this thing...y moodymobius...u c i was searching for a URL that i really cud relate too..i tried evrything...whitenoise,thewhitenoise,thebluedoor and all its possible combinations(i jus love the idea of a blue door) , i even tried googling fora name...but apart from being totally unoriginal it was also useless!!so i thot let the name come to me when it has too...n come it did...i was in mess waitin for my fren to finish his dinner...was playin with an onion slice...n just turned it in a way to form the mobius strip...n i jus love that thing...its so beautiful,elegant and has a sense of mystery about it(even if it can be defined by a set of equations)...It appears to be two surafaces but so effortlessly merges to be 1...seamless,flowing and pure!!(thoda zyada ho gay kya? :P ) neways so i picked mobius from there...n y moody...well frnz who no me even a lill bit no that its a rather accurate way of describing me...

Last few months have had quite a few things happening.Not so much on the personal front but quite a lot around.To begin with here i am in the final year of engineering!!wow...four years hav gone so fast...not as eventfully as i would have liked :P compared to the four years before that(i.e classes 9th-12th) which was a life span in itself so to say :) and now it hits you...the fact that what next??!! :O I see my friends around...all headed in different ways...praveen just got placed yesterday(with a big package!!) and now the ball has begun to roll.If u stay in a hostel for four years like I have and are lucky enough to have the friends that I have had(which trust me is the best and the only worth part bout having been here) then this is exactly the time u start to realise that its all gonna end.These people who have been my second family(or first if u go by the time spent with in an year :P) are all gonna go their ways.So this first blog i would like to dedicate to the friends at svnit with whom I have shared everything(literally) and a special mention to all my friends who are happy and gay ;) (this one is for u Dreamz, or rather on your request).

Talking bout changes around me...there have been quite a few.A few of my school frenz have graduated which means that therez no running away from the fact that now we are officially grown ups!!(or atleast they are :P ) Pursuing MBA,CA and last but not the least AOL(and for u I m most happy :D ) and the biggest news of all!!! A good friend of mine,just 21, got asked by her boyfriend(of atleast last one year i wud think) to marry him!!woahhh!! when i first heard this I was shocked and m sure so was she!!(dont try to dig for names,u wont be getting it :P) But the kind of person she is I know that she is a blithe spirit and has places to go...which does not mean she said a no...or a yes for that matter :P and then my dear sister is getting married too.So i guess these are all he signs that therez a transition coming again,a change of place and of people...hopefully this one is better than last one(from 12th to 1st year :P ) and of better things and people :)

Its dinner time here.and i just checked...sachin hit a century today afternoon!! :D n i din c it...was slpin :( neways...here z to a new beginning(of blogging and otherwise)
and yea lastly...A very Happy Bday to u again Divs!!hope u had a great day in the jail(college) of urs...n hope u do form the fan club soon ;)

So long people,
PC (that shall be my pen(rather blog) name )